I AM MY SISTERS KEEPER

GROCERY STORE LINE (TACO'S, SOUR CREAM, CHEESE, SALSA, AND BACON[FOR BREAKFAST])

PHONE RINGS.. (JASMINE SULLIVAN'S HOOK ON JADAKISS' SMOKIN GUNZ)

VOICE SPEAKS...(HEY KEY)

REPLIED...(HEY KEY)

CONVERSATION STARTS HERE..

WHATCHU DOIN'

NOTHING IN THE GROCERY STORE

(AS HER VOICE BECOMES WEAK...)

[IF YOU KNOW ME...THIS IS THE PART WHERE I BEGAN TO GET AN ATTITUDE BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S WYNING]

CONVERSATION CONTINUES...

KEY?

YES?

...AS SHE BEGINS TO CRY...AS I BEGAN TO CRY, NOT HAVING ANY KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT SHE HAD IN STORE FOR ME....

YOU SEE I FELT HER PAIN LIKE IT WAS MY OWN.

BECAUSE SHE IS MY SISTER EVERY SINGLE FEELING SHE FELT WENT THRU MY BONES.

MY SISTER CONTINUED TO SPEAK...HER VOICE WAS VERY MEEK.

AS SHE WIPED HER FACE AND FIXED HER LIP TO TELL ME THIS....

{MY HEART DROPPED} {SHE IS "MY" SISTER...MY SISTER}

CONVERSATION REPEATS...

KEY?

YES KEY?

ARIE?

YES YONA?

KEY....I HAVE CANCER.

{GROCERY STORE LINE....(TEARS COMING DOWN MY FACE, MOUTH TREMBLING, AND FOR A QUICK SECOND LOST CONTROL)}

ARIE....?

YES (as my voice brakes and my breathing becomes hard to keep steady.)

I'M SCARED KEY....

I AM TO YONA (knowing that she needs me to be strong for her)

I WILL BE FINE

I KNOW YOU WILL...

KEY I JUST WISH YOU WERE HERE TO HOLD ME....(CRYING)

YONA I WANNA BE THERE, I WANT TO HOLD YOU, I DO! (DISTANCE IS THE WORST WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS YOU)

AND BECAUSE I AM MY SISTERS KEEPER MY DUTY IS TO BE THERE...

WE SHARE THE SAME HEARTS.

THAT IS MY SISTER..MINE...

MY SISTER, MY LOVE & GOD KNOWS I LOVE MY SISTER.

SHE IS MY KEEPER AS I AM HER'S.

SO IN HER TIME OF NEED I AM THE FLESH THAT SHE NEEDS TO SEE.

MY HEART IS WIDE OPEN...MY SISTER

GRANDMA CALLS..

CONVERSATION STARTS

HEY PUMPKIN

HEY GRAMA

WHAT YOU DOING

WALKIN LOVE

TELL PUPPY LOVE I SAID HI

OK

BABY, EVERYTHING WILL BE OK

(IMMEDIATELY MY FACE CLEARED)

SEE MY GRANDMA IS MY PEACE IN A TIME OF NEED...I BELIEVE HER...

GRANDMA SAID JESUS IS NOT FEAR...IF YOUR EVER SCARED THAT'S THE DEVIL...AND HE HAS NO CONTROL.

GRANDMA WAS RIGHT!

GOD BUILT ME AS MY SISTERS KEEPER AND I INTEND TO KEEP HER!!!

Isolation

As I sit here in this chair ignoring everything you say,

I realize I hear you clear as a Spring Day.

The Vividness of your bullshit fills my brain...

That's when I realize...Its not your fault.

Your whole "being" is bullshit.

That sneaky ass smile.

Those beady eyes.

Your hair slicked back with LA gel.

Everything about your presence puts me in the presence of a bull-shitter.

Come to think about it your whole life is probably filled with,

one bull shit story after another.

Your life makes perfect sense of not making sense out of something.

And as I sit here in this same chair

Hearing your bull shit reasoning loud and clear...

I also came to the conclusion that I was not listening to a word you were saying.

If I indulge myself in absorbing bull shit as reasoning and answer I fear that I will no longer be a Bullshitter....But that I myself will be full of shit!

So as I seat in this chair at this boring ass meeting at the end of the day...I will isolate myself from you.

Although we are with in 2 ft....I am not here, I am not listening to a word your conniving lips speak.

I will shake my head.

I will speak when its something I disagree with...and I will expect you to listen.

But I will not be attending your "speech" of an answer...fulled with bull shit.

I am Isolated...you see me but I am not here...sorry sir..Come again? Excuse me did you say something?

Bully BAD ass!

& I THINK I LOVE HER! (GucciMane voice)♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

If I ever had to give a name on the spot of the 'love of my life' I would say Bully. Crazy human being to the right is my other half...she is the left side of my brain...We finish each others statements...she lives my life and I live hers. We are not sisters but still she always knows how I feel and what I thinking....We are always "HERE".

If ever there was once when I saw her cry, It put my heart to shame. (enough with that soft s*** she probably saying right now..lol) But ummm We are ultimate ASSHOLES....worst part about it we do it for fun!! haha

I apologize if I hurt your feelings in anyway. (my favorite line...but I never mean it)

Bully's is...."I don't care..." (sadness..is...she really doesn't...)

Bully is the best gift besides life, my mother, my sister, my godparents, Cordell (nephew), ummm my gma's...that GOD has given me..lmao...IM A TRIP...but you know what I mean Cousin...I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U ♥

http://chazdevil.blogspot.com/

& That's why I love her!

Exclusive Boo!

I am so unsure of what I want in life. Seriously!! The crazy thing about that is I know EXACTLY what I don't want....See right now I feel like I want a boyfriend (I think its just because I have nothing to do) I know I don't have the time for a dude right now.
Males nowadays have become to sensitive...too into their feels. I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE.
I want what I want, when I want it. But the complicated thing about that is that I don't want anybody to have what I want...even when I don't want It at the moment.

That is where he would come in....MY EXCLUSIVE BOO!

Details:
He has to be tall.
He has to be attractive to me.
He has to be sexy. haha
He has to have some type of responsibility...(NO KIDS tho)
He has to have limited time...(THE KEY on how he can be exclusive.)

Theory:
So I figure, If he has all these things he could be my boo.
If he has limited time...he wont notice that I don't really call or cares if he calls me....it wont get too deep...we would have a communication that only we understood.
(and I'm fine with that because only we...know each other..theoretically speaking)
He would be my boo not my boyfriend...so he would understand that I could still have friends.
He would have no time for others...because I would be the first person that came to mind when he is on his chill time...

Life would be nice.

Problem:
But he would probably get attached and our times probably wouldn't match up...his chill time, I would be with my girls....my chill time, he would be busy.
Nothing is ever perfect...So I am going to just chill and wait for something (real)...so I wont have to play any games..that I didn't create myself.

Maybe I should have took the "Suga Baby Application"...lol

Background: I was in Sideline's with my Aunt and a guy walks up. Introduces himself ask us our names and if we wanted a drink...responed yea....he asked how old was I I said 21...(you know me I'm always thinking...juss in case he was one of the "Girls!" [police] He responed...That perfect, your the perfect age for me...after 25 woman get dependent...dont want you to leave, want you to pay their car notes and morage...He said, You prolly just want to have fun, go out...go to jamiaca...see the world...and go home. I responed your right...He than told me he was going to give me a Suga Baby Application... lol I was weak...My Aunt giving high fives...talkin bout I know thats rite!! lol
But nothing in life is free...and I could not see myself chillin with somebody DADDY...lol

Which leads me to my next Blog...

Pic of Solange back in 2006 before the baby.

So the pondering is over...Solange had it first! lol

Can YOU live YOUR life!

Why is Solange's hair cut a big deal?

Answer: Because people don't have shit else to do with their lives but speak negatively about someone else.

Last time I checked she could do whatever she damn well pleased....

Since she chose to get a boy cut, she tryna be like Amber Rose?

People please grow up...Damn! (That's high school, Nobody is an original EVERYTHING has been done before!)

SN: Her eyebrows are POPPING (*they look great)

The song below explains things clearly, to understand her you have to listen to her music. If people weren't so caught up on who she tryna be like, they would understand that she is like no other! Her lyrics mean so much more that other artist...She has a craft! Solange's word play is AMAZING!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwlGMsTElQo

Acquired taste describes her music PERFECTLY~

On the way Home to VA for the 4th of July!